Tuesday, February 21, 2006

action + words = hurt

i’ve just came back from my bcom class which was conducted by Pn Nora..In her lecture today she said to us that nowadays she sees no lights (happiness) in our eyes..all of us are like living in a world of difficulties..is it the world today are so that difficult? On my way back to my apartment i keep on thinking about the question..i’ve found that it’s true we are now living in a world of difficulties but the problem is not the world..it is people who live in this world.. =( it’s all about people..how they behave..how they react toward their life..emotionally & practically it would affect another people..huh..i really want to discuss about it but it seems that I can’t figure out any idea for this topic rite now..

actually, I have mixed of emotional feelings recently..i don’t know why but i really missed myself..my ownself..my really me..i realize that i’ve put a lot of pressure to myself lately..and I’m pitty myself for that…I feel like I have burden my self until I can’t think wisely..sometimes i do hate my self..i hate to be me..i hate for all the feelings i have towards life..i think I’m so lenient to people..and because of that I feel I’ve always been fooled by them..they always take for granted for all things that I do for them..maybe they don’t think like I think..because they are not in my shoes..i can’t be like a superman..can do all works alone and handle thing properly.. i’m not that superb..I also need someone to help me..accompany me..understand me & my situation..

i really take responsibilities into my account..but people in here live like they have a million years to live in this world…having fun all the time w/out thinking what they should do..for what purpose they live in this world..so and so forth..i’m not saying that we cannot have fun or enjoy ourlife..i also like having fun..but there’s boundaries..sometimes you have to think more than that..

I’m just an ordinary human like them..sometimes I also feel underpressure.. tired..sad..bored.. all that sort of feelings..so, why don’t they try to understand me..i didn’t want your attention..but appreciation..not more than that..i also don’t like to tell them to do this..do that..or whatever works that they don’t like to do..but hey! It is our responsibilities..don’t blaming people for your mistakes..why don’t you admit your mistakes..you will not hurt others feeling..

Sometimes I feel like it is better to be amnesia..=p so, I don’t have to think about life..people and all that ridiculous crap…….Astaghfirullah..i shouldn’t think like that..maybe there’s a “hikmah” between all this things..after all, I think life is not that cruel..if we think wisely, all problems makes us be a mature person..tough in facing fact & reality and make us be a good person..life w/out problem is lifeless rite..?

anyway, life must go on…adios all this crap!

++ Live.Life.Cool ++



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Love Purple and Maroon. Meluah kata kadang tidak semudah yang difikirkan. Pabila berbicara, banyak hati yang perlu dijaga sehingga ada kalanya kita terpaksa mengabaikan perasaan sendiri. Terkadang bila ingin meluah, lidah kelu untuk melontar butir kata. Gembira, marah, merajuk, suka, duka semuanya dipendam. Keterbatasan emosi membuat kita kerap menyimpan rasa dalam hati. Lantas ruang kecil ini aku jadikan satu medium untuk aku meluah rasa dan idea. Bahkan aku harap agar setiap emosi yang mewarnai diri ini akan menjadikan hidup aku lebih bermakna untuk aku kenangi sebagai kisah klasik yang indah.

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